LDK: ningen dock

ningen dock

01.03.07

Posted by Jun
[ Misc. ]

初めての人間ドックを受けて来た。担当の看護師さんに「もっと勢い良く飲んで」と言われながらも、なかなか喉を通らなかったバリウム。のろのろしていたら、バリウムと一緒に胃の中に流し込まないといけない粒状の発泡剤（胃の中で炭酸ガスを発生させるもの）が口の中でシュワシュワしはじめる始末。どうにか飲み込んだ直後に「台の上でぐるぐると横に2回転」と予想外の要求をされて、思わず笑いそうになって、我慢していたゲップまでもが出そうになった（ちなみにゲップをしてしまったらバリウムの飲み直し）。バリウムを胃壁にまんべんなく付着させるためのぐるぐるなのだけど、その後も左右上下に動く台の上で体を忙しく動かしながら、宇宙飛行士にでもなった気分でニヤニヤしていた。検査終了後、鏡を見たらこんな感じの顔になっていて、かなり驚いた。

I had my annual physical examination. This time they suggested that I take the Ningen Dock (human dry dock), which has more tests compared to my usual examination. I'm getting OLD! So I had to drink barium for the first time to check my stomach. It was awful. The technician told me to drink the barium more quickly, but it didn't go down my throat and the foaming agent (for inflating the stomach) started to fizz in my mouth! After I managed to finish the cup of barium, I had to lie on a platform and was told to rotate my body twice to distribute the barium evenly. I didn't expect this, so I almost had to laugh and burp! If I burped, I would have had to drink another cup of barium. I was tilted left and right, up and down on the moving platform and it made me smile because I felt like an astronaut. When I went to rinse my mouth, I was surprised to see my face, it looked like kind of like this...

健診後、クリニックで出た昼食が2段のお重箱に入って出て来た。箸袋には宮内庁御用達と書いてある。が、残念ながらあまりオイシイものではなく完食ならず。前日の夜7時から何も食べていなかったのに。しかも、甘いものなら何でも好きなこのワタシがデザートにさえ手を出す気にならなかった。次回の人間ドックは「健診後のランチを美味しいレストランで食べられるかどうか」というのを基準にして健診施設を選んでみたりして。

After about two and half hours of examination, I was served a free lunch at the clinic. The food came in two layers of lacquered boxes and the chopsticks paper sleeve said 'a purveyor to the Japanese Imperial Household Agency', so I was quite excited. But it was not good at all. I couldn't finish it even though I hadn't had any food and drink for seventeen hours. The desert looked terrible. Maybe for the next Ningen Dock, I should choose the clinic depending on what meal I can get afterwards. At some places, we get a voucher and we can choose a nice restaurant.

Dirk wrote:

Ooh, poor you! The food in the picture looked nice, so I was surprised to finally read your description. Some years ago I had to undergo a similar treatment. I had to swallow a very heavy liquid so that my stomach could be checked. It looked like yoghurt, tasted like chalk and felt like lead. Pah! Anyway, I hope you are all ok!

jun wrote:

Hi Dirk, the food was nicely arranged but disappointing. especially deep frying stuff was bad. Well, deep frying stuff is rarely tasty in an obento from shops. I think the yoghurt looking heavy liquid you had is the same liquid I had!! I've heard that there are flavoured (only smell) bariums exists. Strawberry, banana, apple etc. I don't know if it's better...

lucinda wrote:

Quite a funny story, but not much fun for you! I can't stand drinking things like this chalky barium stuff. I haven't ever had to drink this kind of thing, but when we were kids we had to drink this medicien on several occasions that made me want to vomit just from smelling it! It had been flavoured 'raspberry' but the taste was so bad, I used to cry when I had to drink it. But unfortunately we had no choice but to drink it. There was no way out!! And the name 'human dry dock' is a wierd and slightly disturbing name! Anyway I hope after all that, you're super genki.

hikalu wrote:

へぇ、人間ドックの後に食事がでるんですか。人間ドックのツアーもあるんですよね。実はバリウムまだ飲んだことないです。

さとかな wrote:

ご無沙汰してしまいました。トムからいろいろ大変だった旨聞きましたが大丈夫？しかも人間ドックってどうしたの？しかし宮内庁御用達だなんてときめいちゃいそうなのに（笑）美味しくないのかぁ。。。残念だね。病院食、大切だよ。実際病気で食欲も無いのにご飯がまずかったら回復できないもの。

jun wrote:

Oh no! Drinking barium is too tough for kids! If I had one when I was a kid, I definitely vomitted! I was a genki kid but I got always ill on the day I had to take a preventive injection for flu etc. I still don't like needles and blood... I didn't know the meaning of 'ningen dokku' until recently. I thought it might be 'human docter'!

jun wrote:

hikaluさんはバリウム未体験なんですね～。ひと口飲んだら思っていたよりはヒドくないなって感じだったんですけど、ゴクゴクと飲んでるつもりでコップをどんどん傾けていたら、中身が全然減っていなくてコップのヘリからバリウムが流れてました（笑）2年に一度くらいなら、またやってもいいかな。人間ドックツアーって何かと思ったら、旅行先で人間ドックなんですね。すごい！ちょっといいかも！